Again, I'm back...writing on this blog that is. I haven't written in well over a year, and for those who enjoy reading my thoughts on their screen, I apologize. Life has been... tremendously busy.
That word tremendous: "Very great in amount, scale, or intensity." Yes. Tremendously busy is appropriate.
I cannot complain; we have had a wonderful year so far in 2016. It has been filled with friends, family, weddings, lazy days at home, wonderful days in the sun, and so much more. This year has been filled with many blessings, lots of laughter, and love. Tremendous love.
This year (and the last half of 2015) has been unlike any other. I am now a mother. Just writing that feels “heavy.” There is such depth to that word and it is not something I ever truly understood until I became one. From the very second I knew I was pregnant, I felt purpose. I felt responsible for something far greater than myself. My pregnancy was not exactly an easy one and we were worried the entire way with various concerns, but on October 27th at 2:00 in the morning, Liam John Shrode came into this world and took my entire heart. I became a mother and was tasked with the responsibility of raising this child. Tremendous responsibility.
Every day I am more and more aware of how important it is to show Liam empathy, love, how to be caring, and how to show respect. I am more aware of how I am going to have to teach him tough lessons and use tough love when all I want to do is cave-in to such a precious being. I’ll watch him grow and become more and more able to do the “little” things. I will need to show him that there will be times when things just don’t make sense, that the world isn’t always fair, and that not everyone will be a friend. I will have to answer all of his “whys?” and “hows?” There is so much for him to learn and Mike and I are his first resources for that. We are his examples and he will learn from us – whether we are trying to teach or not. The people we are will shape who he becomes. What a tremendous responsibility that is.
At just 9 months old, Liam is absolutely amazing. I could just watch him play for hours because his view of the world is so basic, so beautiful. He shows love in so many ways already and his love is so pure. The smile he makes when I pick him up from daycare is priceless and can make 8 horrible work hours seem irrelevant. The little arms that are held high above his head showing he wants to be picked up makes my heart so happy. The giggles he makes from tickling his belly or chasing him down the hall makes me feel overwhelmed with happiness. The smile and squeal he makes when Mike comes home from work is pure satisfaction. He has brought us so much happiness and so much love. Tremendous love.
So with such responsibility comes such love. It is impossible to explain how it can feel like such a daunting task to raise a child, but then it is an indescribable joy as well. How the thing that keeps you from sleeping and functioning as you once knew, is the whole reason you feel you are even meant to be. I have to say that I gained a HUGE amount of respect and admiration for my mom and grandma, as well as Mike’s mom, when I became a mother myself. How they dealt with the many emotions of raising a child from the infant years through adulthood, I cannot yet fully understand….but I have a 9 month glimpse…. and it is tremendous.
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